September 29, 2003

September 29, 2003

This past weekend, Daddy and I had our first time away from you. We wanted to get away once before I have to go back to work. Nana came up to the house to stay with you. At first, I was very hesistant to leave you, because you are still so fussy. It seems you cry about 80% of your waking hours. But then I realized, it probably doesn't make much difference if you cry for me or for someone else. I don't think there's anything special that I do that makes you content. Nana promised it would be fine. I had been saving up lots of pumped breastmilk for the occasion.

When we got back Nana said you were "an angel", although I find that kind of hard to believe. Not to mention, I would be devastated if I thought you only cried like that for me. I think she just wanted to butter me up, so I'll leave you with her more often.

Dada and I had a good time, although it was hard to think of what to do when we didn't have to worry about you. We spent the weekend at our favorite bed and breakfast. I felt kind of attached to my breastpump for the weekend, but if I didn't do it, I would be very uncomfortable! I didn't get to sleep through the night, because I had to pump too, but I only had to get up once, which was nice.

Anyway, I'm just happy to be back, and see that you could manage without me for a little while. It makes me feel a little better about going back to work, although I'm still not looking forward to it exactly. It will be nice to get out of the house and be around adults for a while though.

September 22, 2003

September 22, 2003

Today was your 2 month check up. You weighed in at 11 lbs 3 oz and were 23.5 inches long. Holy mackeral! You looked nice and healthy, but had to have 4 shots today. At first you looked up at the nurse and me like we were playing some game. Then the first shot came and your little face melted into a scream. I was surprised at how quickly you recovered though. I nursed you right after and by the time we left the office, you were over it. You have little bright colorful circular bandaids all over your chubby little thighs. Poor thing!

September 20, 2003

September 20, 2003


You are smiling so much! Your new favorite pasttime is sucking on your hands, which makes them smell like sour milk a lot of the time. Pew! The Zantac seems to be helping during the day, but you are still a screaming mess come 5:00, which makes dinner unpleasant for Mommy and Daddy. We usually have to take turns with you, so that the other can get something to eat. Other times, I eat with you in the bouncie seat under the table. I'll be vigorously bouncing you with my feet, while I'm simultaneously tryting to shove food in my mouth.

I wish Daddy got to see more of your smiley times. I think he thinks I make it up, because he's only home in the evenings when you are so fussy. Our only respite in the evenings is our evening walk. I have to walk with your back against my stomach, so you can look out at everything. You love to watch the trees. I live for those walks, it's so nice to get outside. I feel so trapped inside the house lately.

September 4, 2003

September 4, 2003

Oh my sweet baby. Mommy doesn't know what to do with you. You cry all the time it seems. The only thing that stops the crying is nursing, swinging, and the vacuum cleaner. Sometimes, those things don't even work. I feel so bad for you. I'm guessing it's just colic, but today I started worrying that all this time I thought you had colic, but maybe there's something wrong. I called the pediatrician's office and it was all I could do to not cry on the phone. The secretary could tell I was upset. She asked if that was you crying in the background and I said, "Yes" **sniff, sniff**. They she said, "Do you want to bring her in today?" And I said, "Yes...." and almost broke down.

Dr. VanZee said you might have "silent reflux" since you never spit up. So we're going to try you on Zantac and see if that helps. Oh, I hope it does. I feel like such a terrible Mom. I've tried everything, but still you seem miserable.

September 1, 2003

September 1, 2003


Elly Belly you are getting so big! I'm honestly worried that you might end up being 6 feet. Madelyn who is 5 months old was over yesterday and you two are the same height. It's been a rough few weeks. You want to nurse all the time and sleep very little. You have also been very fussy. Daddy and I have different levels of crying named for you; Defcon 1, 2, 3, and 4. Defcon 4 involves clenched fists, red face, and a scream you can hear anywhere. Shai is very concerned when you are upset and gives me a look like "Why are you hurting my baby?". Despite all that, I can't believe how much I love you. I love to kiss your chubby face all over!! When you are upset, I just tell you that you are safe and everything is all right. You are sleeping swaddled in your crib right now, but as with most nights lately, you'll probably end up in bed with Mommy and Daddy. You are a very noisey sleeper, but oh so cuddly!

Kisses,

Mommy