July 17, 2003

July 17, 2003

You are here!! And you are beautiful!! Much different than I expected you to look. I guess I don't really know what I was expecting. You have tons of long brown hair, with hair on the tips of your ears, and a sort of dark complection. You have big eyes, which were wide open and staring at us right after birth. You have cute little bird lips that are always pursed, and your nose has a wide bridge like your Dad's. Of course we had to check out the toes to see if you got Mom's long toe, or Dad's big toe. It's the big toe! No doubt. Here's how everything got started.

At 4:20 in the morning I woke up because I had to pee. I was lying there and all of a sudden there was this big snap/pop sort of like kicking followed by a tidal wave of fluid. I told Daddy that my water had just broke and I needed a towel. He said “a lot” and I said “a lot, a lot”. I got up to go in to the bathroom with the towel and it was soaked through before I got there. I soaked three more towels and then tried to pack while wearing a pad. 4 pads later we were ready to go to the hospital. I had wanted to wait a little longer until the contractions really kicked in, I had started having mild ones right after the water broke, but then I would have missed my fellow night shifters and I really wanted them to be the ones who checked me in. We got to the hospital and everyone was so excited to see me even though they were really busy. 6:30 They checked me and I was 1-2/80%/0, bummer. So I walked the halls. Feeling a little bit like a celebrity because all the doctors and other nurses were so excited to see me there as a patient. My friends in L&D said that I shouldn’t be walking so fast, “we’ll have to send you home” jokingly. My contractions were only every 5-6 minutes or so and not very strong. So I walked and walked and walked. It must have done something though, because 4 hours later I was 3-4 cm. So I walked some more. Still no good contraction pattern. 2.5 hours later I was 4-5cm. I had some good contractions, some wimpy ones, still no pattern. I could only get them to come close together if I walked and that was getting a little tiring and boring. Daddy kept pushing me, “walk faster!”. And the fluid just kept coming. My patients always said that was a gross feeling, but Man is that a gross feeling.

Anyway so I decided to get my epidural. The anesthesiologist and I are just shooting the breeze while he’s placing the epidural, and I’m telling him how another nurse I took care of had problems with hers and how we all said it was because she worked here when he goes “crap.” And I go “what?” He says “I just gave you a wet tap”. Which means that he has gone past the epidural space and gotten spinal fluid. So we redo the epidural, and he tells me that he gives me a 50/50 chance of getting the spinal headache. He was so embarrassed, and I told him it was bound to happen to me of anyone. Oh well, what can you do. The epidural was much more pleasant than I was expecting. I had no problems moving my legs and moving around in bed, but no contraction pain. However it did space my contractions out to every 10min. I was like “start up the Pit!!” Or this will take forever. So they started the pitocin. At 4, my nurse comes in and I get my bladder emptied. And immediately my contractions go from 10 minutes apart to 2-3min apart. 20 minutes later my doctor comes in to say hi, which was perfect timing because in the meantime a bowling ball has all of a sudden started pressing on me. I have never felt a more intense pressure in my life. He checks me and I’m ready to push!! Halleuia!! Outside it is storming and there is thunder and lightning. What a dramatic entrance for you!

I pushed for 30 minutes before you were born, and it was some of the most intense pain I have ever experienced. Someone asked my Daddy if I screamed, and he said “No but there was a lot of whimpering.” Yes wimpering with tears streaming down my face and begging for another contraction so I could get you out. I used a mirror, which was great, but afterward my doctor was so kind as to point out where I tore, where he was going to put stitches etc. TMI!! I said just do whatever you gotta do. The best part, after Dr. Gorsuch delivered your head and shoulders, I was able to reach down and grab you under the arms and pull you the rest of the way out myself! My Grandma thinks that is just the most amazing thing. Then once you were out and I was holding you, the clouds lifted, the rain and thunder stopped, and the sun came out. It was just like a movie!

Your Dad and I were pretty stupid when it came to getting pictures. We didn't even get any pictures in the delivery room. We were just too preoccupied I guess. But here is a picture of us, both looking pretty worn out. You can see how crazy your hair looked before it got washed.