August 29, 2003

I swear you have a sixth sense. It's either that or a really good nose. I will not so much as sit down and pick up a fork, and you're crying. I have yet to get through dinner with out being interupted. If this doesn't make those pregnancy pounds melt away, I don't know what will. Wait! Yes I do. I'm sure the rocking, bouncing, swaying jig I have to do about 4 times a night is aerobic exercise. It's not that I mind that you wake so often at night, it's just that it takes at least 45 minutes to get you back to sleep!! You will be sound asleep in my arms, swaddled tightly, and I'll lay you ever so gently into the crib and tip toe out of the room. The floor creaks and BAM! you're screaming again. The other night, I was so tired of bouncing, that I decided to try take a drive with you. My Dad had told me I loved that as an infant. It was 4 am and I drove you around the country for about 20 minutes. You were quiet in the back for so long, I was sure you were asleep. I pulled in the garage, snuck around the side of the car, opened the door, and there you were, eyes wide open, looking at me. I wanted to cry. Mommy still loves you dearly, but please baby, go to sleep.

August 25, 2003

Aunt Allison is here from Miami to see you for the first time. She was so excited! I just wish you weren't so fussy. Whenever someone else tries to hold you, you scream. I think Allison is a little intimidated by this, and hands you back to me quickly, because she doesn't want to make you cry.

Grandma Worman came over today too, to see you and Allison. I'm glad she gets to see you, but she makes me cringe. Then Grandpa came over in the evening. How proud he is! You have so many people that love you little bug!

August 23, 2003

Today we took your first nudie shots! It was Dada's idea, I just want you to know. He couldn't help himself, he had to pinch your little butt. You're starting to get fat rolls too. I think your hair resembles Elvis in these pictures.

We drove down to Grandma & Grandpa Smith's house. It was nice to be able to see them, but it was a rough trip. 2 hours is a long time to have you in the car. I can't see you because your seat is rear-facing. I thought you might sleep, but you only did for a very short time. The rest of the time you mostly cried. We had to take a break and stop on the side of the road so I could change your diaper and nurse you. It's frustrating, because I can't really do anything for you when you are strapped in your carseat. I think it's going to be a while before we try to make that trip again.

August 13, 2003

Today was your 1 month doctor's appointment. You are 8 pounds 14 ounces and 22.5 inches long. Wow! You are so big. Your newborn-3month sleepers are too short! I can't believe how fast you've grown. Dr. VanZee said you look very healthy.

July 30, 2003

My wonderful little bug. I am so torn. I can't wait to watch you grow up, walk, talk, and smile, but I love you being so small and cuddly. I hope I will be a good Mommy to you. Daddy thinks you will be the first female motocross champion. I hope you will pick something safer. I so dread going back to work. I don't want to miss anything. I love you so much.

Today was your due date, but I guess you had a different agenda, and that was fine with me! You umbilical cord fell off. I'm glad it's gone...Yuck! A couple days ago when I was bathing you, I noticed it was starting to come off and it was a little bloody and gooey looking. I freaked out a little and called your Dad in there to look at it. I asked him if he thought it was all right and he said, "Why don't you know, you're the nurse?" I told him, they never fall off for me. He thinks that because I'm a nurse, I'm supposed to know everything medical related. I'm happy to report that now that it's fallen off, everything looks a-okay, and you have an inny.

July 24, 2003

Today was your first doctor's appointment. I really liked the doctor's office, they had a special room for us to wait in, so you didn't have to be out in the waiting room with all the sick kids. You got weighed and measured. 7lbs 6 oz. and 20 1/2 inches long. Dr. VanZee was very impressed that you are already back up to your birth weight. Yay for Mama's milk! You are looking a little jaundiced, but Dr. VanZee wasn't too worried.

I am very happy to report that I think my spinal headache is finally gone. What a relief that is. Sally, Joe, Meghan, and Nick are coming over tonight to meet you for the first time.

Today the Smith family came to see you. Nana, Papa, Gigi, Aunt Angie and Uncle Joe, and Joey were there to meet you. You were so good and let everyone hold you. I was miserable. The spinal headache is terrible. I am hot and my breasts feel like two red hot bricks on my chest. You nurse every 1-2 hours and since the breastfeeding thing makes Papa uncomfortable, I take you to another room. Gigi made the comment, "She wants to eat alot, maybe you don't have enough milk." I so wish I could have lifted up my shirt and shown her I have enough milk to feed an army of newborns. I love them, but I really wished everyone would just go away so I could lay down. I'm not tired, I just don't feel well. Earlier I was begging you to please eat some more. I feel like my boobs want to burst!

July 19th, 2003

We brought you home today!! Actually I couldn't wait to get out of the hospital. I just wanted to get you home and show you your house and your room, and just chill out with Daddy in our usual surroundings. We dressed you in a hot pink dress that had the butterfly from "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" on it. It said "a beautiful butterfly". It was a hot sunny day. I was on edge the whole ride home, because I was afraid we'd get in a car accident. I sat in the back with you, so I could watch you. You slept the whole way home.

Unfortunately, I think I have that darn spinal headache that they thought I might get from the epidural. So I don't feel very well. My head is pounding, and Daddy tries to make me eat, but I really don't feel like it. My boobs are HUGE!! Shai seems pleasantly curious about you, and the cats could care less. I like nursing you in your room in the recliner we got. It is very comfortable. I thought I would be more tired, but I'm too excited. Aunt Katie stopped over to see you too. She's not real keen on babies and looked so uncomfortable holding you, it was hilarious!

July 17, 2003

You are here!! And you are beautiful!! Much different than I expected you to look. I guess I don't really know what I was expecting. You have tons of long brown hair, with hair on the tips of your ears, and a sort of dark complection. You have big eyes, which were wide open and staring at us right after birth. You have cute little bird lips that are always pursed, and your nose has a wide bridge like your Dad's. Of course we had to check out the toes to see if you got Mom's long toe, or Dad's big toe. It's the big toe! No doubt. Here's how everything got started.

At 4:20 in the morning I woke up because I had to pee. I was lying there and all of a sudden there was this big snap/pop sort of like kicking followed by a tidal wave of fluid. I told Daddy that my water had just broke and I needed a towel. He said “a lot” and I said “a lot, a lot”. I got up to go in to the bathroom with the towel and it was soaked through before I got there. I soaked three more towels and then tried to pack while wearing a pad. 4 pads later we were ready to go to the hospital. I had wanted to wait a little longer until the contractions really kicked in, I had started having mild ones right after the water broke, but then I would have missed my fellow night shifters and I really wanted them to be the ones who checked me in. We got to the hospital and everyone was so excited to see me even though they were really busy. 6:30 They checked me and I was 1-2/80%/0, bummer. So I walked the halls. Feeling a little bit like a celebrity because all the doctors and other nurses were so excited to see me there as a patient. My friends in L&D said that I shouldn’t be walking so fast, “we’ll have to send you home” jokingly. My contractions were only every 5-6 minutes or so and not very strong. So I walked and walked and walked. It must have done something though, because 4 hours later I was 3-4 cm. So I walked some more. Still no good contraction pattern. 2.5 hours later I was 4-5cm. I had some good contractions, some wimpy ones, still no pattern. I could only get them to come close together if I walked and that was getting a little tiring and boring. Daddy kept pushing me, “walk faster!”. And the fluid just kept coming. My patients always said that was a gross feeling, but Man is that a gross feeling.

Anyway so I decided to get my epidural. The anesthesiologist and I are just shooting the breeze while he’s placing the epidural, and I’m telling him how another nurse I took care of had problems with hers and how we all said it was because she worked here when he goes “crap.” And I go “what?” He says “I just gave you a wet tap”. Which means that he has gone past the epidural space and gotten spinal fluid. So we redo the epidural, and he tells me that he gives me a 50/50 chance of getting the spinal headache. He was so embarrassed, and I told him it was bound to happen to me of anyone. Oh well, what can you do. The epidural was much more pleasant than I was expecting. I had no problems moving my legs and moving around in bed, but no contraction pain. However it did space my contractions out to every 10min. I was like “start up the Pit!!” Or this will take forever. So they started the pitocin. At 4, my nurse comes in and I get my bladder emptied. And immediately my contractions go from 10 minutes apart to 2-3min apart. 20 minutes later my doctor comes in to say hi, which was perfect timing because in the meantime a bowling ball has all of a sudden started pressing on me. I have never felt a more intense pressure in my life. He checks me and I’m ready to push!! Halleuia!! Outside it is storming and there is thunder and lightning. What a dramatic entrance for you!

I pushed for 30 minutes before you were born, and it was some of the most intense pain I have ever experienced. Someone asked my Daddy if I screamed, and he said “No but there was a lot of whimpering.” Yes wimpering with tears streaming down my face and begging for another contraction so I could get you out. I used a mirror, which was great, but afterward my doctor was so kind as to point out where I tore, where he was going to put stitches etc. TMI!! I said just do whatever you gotta do. The best part, after Dr. Gorsuch delivered your head and shoulders, I was able to reach down and grab you under the arms and pull you the rest of the way out myself! My Grandma thinks that is just the most amazing thing. Then once you were out and I was holding you, the clouds lifted, the rain and thunder stopped, and the sun came out. It was just like a movie!

Your Dad and I were pretty stupid when it came to getting pictures. We didn't even get any pictures in the delivery room. We were just too preoccupied I guess. But here is a picture of us, both looking pretty worn out. You can see how crazy your hair looked before it got washed.

July 13, 2003

I had Daddy take me to the park today so we could get some last pictures of my huge ole belly. I wanted so nice pictures of me pregnant, so I wore my favorite maternity dress. I feel the need to have everything ready and wrapped up because it could be "any day now!" I still think I will go overdue though. Daddy and I plan to go on one more date this Friday. We're going to go out to dinner and to see Pirates of the Caribbean.

At work, Christine did an ultrasound for me to see if we could measure how big you are. The calculations say that right now you are about 7 pounds. Which means if I go all the way to my due date (or more), you'll probably be 8 or 8 1/2 pounds. Yikes!! I feel like you are right between my legs most of the time, and my co-workers think it's hilarious to watch me waddle all around. I get so frustrated with pants!! My work pants won't fit over my belly, but don't stay up when I time them under either, so I feel like I am constantly hiking them up. I have a clot in my leg, so I also have to wear support hose which SUCKS!! I can't even put on regular socks, let alone, those things. Most of the time I sucker one of my co-workers in to helping me put them on. I can't wait to wear regular pants!!

Well there it is. Does it look scary to you? Uncomfortable? It's really not to bad. Actually my legs hurt the most probably. I wake up from a dead sleep with these incredible leg cramps, and have to hop around the bedroom until they go away. About 3 weeks ago, I noticed what I thought was a stretch mark and the next morning I woke up to find that my entire belly had exploded in stretch marks. Literally, it was overnight. They wrap all the way around to my back. My belly button has popped out like a turkey timer. The funny thing is that only this week one of my patients dared ask me if I'm pregnant. I guess the scrubs hide it really well. She was very surprised to find out I'm due in one month. So far you seem like a pretty calm baby. Maybe it's because I'm always moving around, but I don't feel you move that much. Sometimes it makes me nervous. I listen to your heartbeat at work all the time, just to check in.

Today was the baby shower that your Grandma Smith through for us. We had Gigi, Aunt Allison, Great Grandma Miles, Sally and Megan Miles, Karrie, Kate, and Mrs. DeVries. We got so much stuff! We played a fun game where you try to guess the baby food with the labels torn off. I didn't do too bad. I wish someone would have told me that my pink striped underwear was showing the WHOLE TIME. Seriously! I'm including a picture on here, and let me tell you, they were all this bad.

May 28th, 2003

Today was my first baby shower. It was given by my friends at work. It was kind of a group shower for myself, Andrea, and Dorothy. Both Andrea and Dorothy have already had their babies. Andrew, Andrea's baby, is a big ole chunk, and Sophie, Dorothy's baby, is a petite little princess. Dorothy had to spend a lot of the shower standing and rocking her.

I am overwhelmed by how generous everyone was. There was tons of food and I got a bouncy seat, a walker, boppy pillow, sleepers, towels, blankets, clothes, and a photo album. All these beautiful things from people who only know me through work. I don't have any qualms about delivering there. It is comforting to me to know I will be surrounded by friends when I have my baby.

Hello in there... I hope you are comfortable. I am not so much right now. I made the mistake of agreeing to go shopping at Birch Run with Katie and Rachel this weekend. I thought I was going to die. My back and belly hurt so bad. Every store we went to I scanned the place looking for somewhere to sit down. It was really bad. I don't know why that was so much more uncomfortable than working. I don't seem to have much problem at work, and I'm still working full time nights 12 hour shifts. I wanted to include a little bit of monitor strip. Here you are looking good! Very advanced for 30 weeks!

March 16, 2003

Now that's a belly! This is my 20 1/2 week belly picture. I wouldn't let Daddy take a picture of my head because I just got out of the shower and look like crap! I'm feeling great and even fit into my regular jeans still. I haven't really felt you move much, but at least I get to hear you whenever I want to at work otherwise I might be worried. I can't wait until your Daddy gets to feel you move.

March 4, 2003

Today was my formal ultrasound. It was strange for me, coming into the hospital as a patient, instead of to work. I drank tons of water like a good doobie, so that my bladder would be full. It was fun at first. The ultrasonagrapher seemed so young to me! I think it was exciting for your Daddy to see you moving around in there. The last ultrasound he was there for in person was at 8 weeks. All the other ones have just been pictures I brought home to him. The tech confirmed again for us that you look like a girl! She began taking measurements of all your parts and checking out your organs and my back began to spasm!! Oh my god I was hurting so bad. I don't know if it was the hard table or my very full bladder, but I didn't think I could make it. She let me get up and move around a little. I felt like such a wussy, but my back was just breaking! When everything was done and I finally got to pee I swear I peed for 5 minutes straight. Then I had to pee again before we even left the building. Wow! I think this ultrasound was a little anti-climatic for me just because I've already had 4. We did get a nice picture of your profile though.

February 27th, 2003

Tap, tap, tap!! That's what I felt! I was sitting at work, and there it was. Like someone tapping me with their finger from the inside. This time I'm sure it's you. So cool!! I sat very still for a while hoping you'd keep doing it, but it subsided and once I started moving around, I don't know if I'd be able to feel you. Maybe that's why it's taken me so long to feel you, because I think I'm always moving. I hate to sit still.

February 23, 2003

The walls of the nursery are done. I took wallpaper and cut out these cute butterflies out of it. Dragonflies, ladybugs, and bees too. They look like they're flying all around the room. I love it!! Dad and I went to Meijer and I was admittedly sticking out my belly, so people would notice.

February 22, 2003

Dad and I picked out a recliner today for your room. It was fun to sit there and rock, pretending you are in my arms. We are going to have some great times in that chair. We made sure to get the fabric protection because I'm sure it will be covered in spit up more than once.

February 20th, 2003

Last night at work one of the Doctor's Mom works with did an ultrasound to see if you were willing to show off your private parts. Dr. Cady said he was "pretty sure" he knew what you were which is about as sure as anyone ever is when it comes to an ultrasound. I promised your Dad that I wouldn't find out so Dr. Cady wrote it on a piece of paper and sealed it in an envelope, so that your Dad and I could open it together. I called your Dad and told him I had the results in my pocket and that he couldn't leave for work until I got home. It was an excrutiating 8 hours, but I never peeked. Kate, the PCA, saw to that. She put that piece of paper inside a piece of paper, inside an envelope, inside an envelope, then taped and stapled it shut. We had a hard time getting to our answer. What fun though. Drum roll please.....Girl!!! Music to my ears!! It didn't matter to me, but your Dad really wanted you to be a girl. I know he would have been fine if you were a boy, but he is so used to girls and thinks they are so cute. He was elated! We think we know your name too. Elise Katelyn though that could change.

It's hard for me to believe you're in there, and that you're a girl. I think what makes it the most fun is that the stuff for girls is so cute! Anyway, here are the pictures we took. We got some really good ones this time. Daddy labeled them, so others would know what they were looking at. ;)